Mittwoch, 13. Februar 2008

Dear, dear, dear, dear Christ.

Auf der Suche nach obskuren Büchern landeten Herr Marz und ich unlängst im A&S Bücherland. Dort suchten wir nach einschlägiger parabiologischer UFO-Zauber-Literatur. Natürlich wurden wir diesbezüglich fündig, Herr Marz fand gleich mehrere Titel während ich mir Stuart Holroyd‘s „Übersinnliches – Dimensionen ohne Grenzen“ mitnahm. Dieses Werk begeisterte mich nicht zuletzt, weil auf seiner Rückseite ein Pentagram zu sehen ist. Auch die darin enthaltenden Fotos und Zeichnungen von Levitationen, Geistern und Auraphotographien taten es mir an. Selbstredend ist auch der schriftliche Teil des Buches nicht zu verachten: Selten habe ich so eine Sammlung von unlogischen, obskuren und gänzlich aufklärungsresistenten Unsinn gelesen. Also schlicht das, dass wir suchten. Doch zum Inhalt dieses Büchleins ein anderes Mal.
Weiterhin nahm ich mit eine englischsprachige Ausgabe von James Joyce‘ Ulysses mit, in der wir einen leicht verwirrenden Brief fanden. Ich habe mit ringen müssen, ob ich ein solch privates Fundstück hier der Öffentlichkeit preisgeben will, aber der Wechsel zwischen reichlich knappem Bericht aus dem Leben und dem abdriften in eher wahnwitzige Sätze tat es mir dann doch so an, dass ich hier eine, freilich anonymisierte, Abschrift einstelle:


Dear D,
How are you? I‘m doing very well. It‘s taken some time for me to realize I can be happy, but I think I have almost if not actually achieved happiness.
I miss you. I know it may be hard to beliebe, but it‘s true. I found a letter that I‘d not seen in my stuff today when I cleaned my room. It was postmarked July 7. I couldn‘t stop smiling! You wonderful D. I love you.
I don‘t know exactly what happened; why I didn‘t write or talk anymore. I‘m sorry. I know nothing I say can make it better, I only hope you forgive me. Please, I‘m truly sorry.
The letter you sent was about L. and how you put her on a plane with me. We were in a field. And B was in the middle of the field near all the brightly colored flowers. And L, you and I were all near the spring that trickled down the falls. And G was nears us hiding under a tree. Your painted a wonderful picture. I had forgotten how vivid your thoughts were when you wrote.
I don‘t know how to use e mail well, so I haven‘t looked to see if you have checked your email because I don‘t know how to. And well my point is that I didn't know if you knew I wrote or if you know about my current life.
It occured to me about two weeks ago that something very serious could have happened and I wouldn‘t have even known. I hope that isn‘t why you‘ve been on my mind so much. I suppose you may be thinking why did I wait two weeks to write then, well I put the thought out of my mind. I didn‘t want to think you might be hurt. So, I didn‘t write because in order to put the thought out of my mind I had to put you out of my mind. But I‘m writing now
So let me tell you a little about me. If you got my email message you‘ll know most of this. I‘m now happy because I can call myself a Christian. Enough said on to other subjects.
G, well when I last wrote I was totally confused since then he and talked and I think I understand what‘s going on. He wants to get his life with God straightened out and solid before he adds another to his life. And while I don‘t see this as being a factor in most of his life I think it is here... he‘s a freshman and only beginning college so he‘s certainly not read for a serious relationship which is all he and I seem able to produce when we‘re close.
It‘s better for me too, because I was telling M that I just wanted a bestfriend (male) not another serious relationship, but I as you know too easily am swayed by my emotions and kept/keep leaning towards a real relationship with anyone.
Did I laps into Chinese again or did you understand what I said just now. I suppose it really doesn't matter... I‘m just blabbing about rather unimportant stuff when it gets down to it.
F and I still, yes we are still maintaining a good relationship all things considered. He and I are going to go to the art museum when I get into town.
Did I tell you I cut my hair?!?!? I like not having hair, but I also like having something to pull up when I want to dress up so I‘m letting it grow already.
Did I tell you yet that I think F was a lot of what pulled us apart? I have found that I really changed myself for him. Every day I change from what I was with him; some back to who I was and other to a new released me. I think I‘Ve suddenly become a lot smarter too.
Well I hope to hear from you soon. It‘s 3:00 am and I‘m beginning to get tires, I still have to pack – I leave at 8:00. Five hours should be enough don‘t you thin?
Take care until you next hear from me. ok?
In Christ,
love, E
PS – have a very merry christmas


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